Author: Paul Ooi

一、 衣服

本公司勸告你，以你的薪金當水準來穿衣服。
如果我們看到你穿Prada的拖鞋或拿 Hermes的皮袋，那麼我們假設你的生活很充裕，不需要加薪 。
如果你穿得邋邋遢遢，那麼你應當學會怎麼理財，這是你自己的事，我們也不必加薪。
要是你穿得中規中矩，那也表示你是一個安份守己的人 ，
安份守己的人要多點錢幹甚麼？

二、病假

我們已經不會接受醫生為你寫的生病請假信，如果你能走去看醫生，那麼你也可以走回來上班。

三、私人假期

每一個僱員都會享受到一年之中五十二天的私人假，那是禮拜天。

四、事假

任何不上班的理由都不為本公司接受。
你的親人和朋友的去世與本公司無關，當伴郎伴娘更是多餘的。
如果你認為非去不可，那麼請你在午餐那一小時之中把你的工作做完，我們允許你提早一個鐘離開。

五、洗手間的利用

花在洗手間的時間太長了。本公司現定你每次只准利用三分鐘。
在這三分鐘完畢的時候，警鐘就會響亮，廁紙也跟鎖上。
接下來門會打開，相機自動閃光拍下你一張照片。
你用洗手間的次數一多，這張照片就會貼在佈告欄中。

六、午飯

雖然法律規定一個小時，但本公司欣賞你早去早回。
瘦的人可花三十分鐘，他們要多吃一點，我們理解。
普通人只要十五分鐘就夠。肥子五分鐘，花在減肥可樂上。
謝謝各位的注意。我們需要你保持一個積極的工作態度。
任何投訴和抱怨，請寄到別的部門去，人事部不受辦理。

自己監在家裏已經有一個星期足了，因爲有你-水痘。除了白開水麵包，別的食物通通都不敢碰。每天只是能在夢裏吃laksa，板面，TomYam，蝦麵，炒惈條，點心，大炒等等。。。這些日子，是多麽的殘忍。爲了的是，早日康復，星期四去旅遊。除了這些，小孩子們都不敢接觸，害怕把這個不吉利的水痘傳給可憐的小孩子，不能開開心心的過聖誕。

觀音菩薩，関二哥，保佑我早日康復。我要吸吸新鮮空氣。

Receive a mail from Amphitheatre Parkway, Mountain View today. Yes.. Merry Christmas from Google, my payment, love the greenie color cheque, at least something can cheer me up beside chickie poxie… Going to sleep, Night!

p/s: It’s not billion dollar from Google, just few thousand cents.

Seeing colleagues planing where to partying, then the chicken poxie laying on the bed and read the emails. This is the contradiction between Hell and Heaven.

I hate chicken pox, damn chicken pox. Why I don’t have it during my young child hood, it would be better, got grandma to take care, got someone to put lotion for me, got someone cook porridge for me at home.

Having chicken pox is really pain in the ass, especially you live alone. You can’t have nice bath, you can’t body shampoo yourself, you can’t wash your hair. You don’t dare to clean up your body with towel too hard, because you might afraid to burst that bloody pox pox chicken. You have to take extremely care during cleaning your body, that is the most hate part, you burst the pox, the damn scar will stay long life with you ever after.

Luckily, I have a nice housemate who could buy bread and 100 plus for me, also put himself in risk stay in the same house with me, bless my great disease don’t pass to him, else I will spoil his christmas plan.

Luckily, I have a lovely girlfriend and her family bring some stuff for me to drink and eat to make myself recover sooner. Also, thanks for colleagues in the office who shown your concern on my chicken pox, I will rest well and not to bring it to the office for you guys as christmas present. Also Sogua, I wish I got your DVD earlier so I can enjoy movie.

Beside sleep, drink more water, eat bread and shit, I can’t do other things. 1 week MC isn’t fun at all. Miss a lot of food. Doctor said I have to become 90 days vegetarian, which is good for me, may be I will join Chan as full time vegetarian.

Long live brotherhood Michael Lee Wei Pin, we have chicken pox at the same damn year!

Merry Christmas and Happy Chicken Pox.

When you have chicken pox, you will look like this;

Damn fsck right? But you got to experience it once in your great life 😀

p/s: lovely friends, i didn’t answer your call because i was having good dream with Bush, we talk about how to fight with chicken pox…